andharu mahaanubhaavule.. andhariki vandhanamulu..

around 16 years passed by.. probly the first meaningful sound i made, other than those i made while weeping,sneezing or farting was
as sweet as it cud be.. "amma".. gottu confirm it with amma though..

since then this has been my support to build a rapport with the environment.. i saw, explored ,recognized , discovered, understood, and misunderstood the world through it.. but in the way.. i cudnot..**did not** explore the way, that led me to the center stage, as much as it can be mentioned..

the wake up call.. prayers to God.. mom's berating.. dad's wishes.. frens gossips.. playtime screams.. hunger shouts.. n bedtime stories.. all had one thing in common.. the toungue.. the Mother..

its the shape my feelings took... and the way my expressions expressed themselves..

She showd Her love to me.. i just got it widout deliberately learning it.. and in turn i shud do the same.. by deliberately learning or teaching more of it.. if not i shud atleast respect Her.. for She is my Mother..


i promise U Mother.. i would be Ur son.. and wud save Ur breath in the intense smoke of globalisation..


(shud ter be any reason to scribble sumtin?? -->
none of us understood wat the host talked today,at our regional cul-fest, as he spoke wholly in our mother toungue.. and the poor chap was 'boo'd off... isnt it stupid..

as part of our exercises to put some time off the clock, we were listening to the songs from sirivenella and swatikiranam for the nth time in ringo's room today.. and seeing nutty passing by.. i wondered wat wud be my answer if he comes to me and asks me wat the song meant.. the most appropriate answer i cud possibly give wud be "i dont know..".. and if someone who knows the language asks me the same.. i wud say "lite teesko.."... abject surrender..

mr.a was thot only swear words of my language by mr.b

it was Ugadi,the telugu new year day, wen i scribbled this.. :D)

when i dreamt the the reality..

when baba n bablee r banging the boxes off the floor at this hour of the day.. and my bed is tappin its feet to the rock cracking rock..
and shaking my ass off it..
i wish i had the patience to listen to the nonsense.. or the license to demand silence..

but i do something which im very good at..
ask the leisure to sit with me.. and the work at hand,hope to c it later..
cos i dont have time.. my clock isnt working..

i think at leisure.. i think deep..
no more pressure.. i fall asleep..

i quickly jump into a dream to get away frm the rash reality..
the curtains open up.. welcome to the dream world..
i c myself sleeping real peaceful.. and then i slowly slide into a dream...
and again.. the curtains up.. welcome to the dream world..
this time i dont c myself sleeping.. cos i sometimes do something other than this too...

i c myself swimming across a silent sea, the sea of silence..
clouds din move.. as the breeze wasnt blowing..
noise supposdly drowned in te sea..
the sea n the sea is all i cud see..


it isnt earth.. it was silent..and not violent..
though im crowned with silence here..
but if im drowned??!!i fear..

how far is the shore..
as much as i am from it...
so i guess it isnt far now.. as im on it..
an island..
i wishd i shared the moments wid baba n bablee..
but im happy they arent here...
everything around at thy service ..i told myslelf
selflessly giving everthing i found, to whom i talked to...


it isnt earth.. it is silent ..and not violent..
though im alone and in peace here..
but if anyone sees this place??!!i fear..

this wud be under my dominion, i sighed to the heavens..
im not gonna share the shore..
ter i see some movement.. in the unmoved oceans..
"dont dare to come hither" i screamed..
the sea of silence broke into ripples..
as the man came onto the shore.. i ran down to him..
"leave the place" was my command..
a huge smile on spottin me.. was his way to respond..
widout a thot.. i got down to the war..


it isnt silent.. ter is violence.. its another earth now..
i thot tht was the way to my destination..
but thts the way away frm it!!i fear..

and..

all of a sudden im down to earth..

the alarm jumps on me.. i wake up to c baba awake..

bablee knocks my door.. to c me awake.. this time not in dream..

my least busy schedule always gives me time to interpret my dreams..
and i wonder..
how people lik me ruined the serenity..
n im not alone in the race to be alone..
and to gain nothin..
fightin wars to find peace..
unhealthy competitions in way to all healthy causes..
arent we caught in chaos..


vandith says "world is a group of frens..
n so is the best place to live in.. "
how wud i njoy a cric match widout bablee n who wud teach me basketball lik how baba does..
its jus the way i c it..

save the spirit of sharing.. cos someday i may be in need.. or may be u..